Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal

Ok. So here's the thing...I may or may not have an irrational fear of C.H.U.D.s. And when I say may not, I mean Yes, I really do have an irrational fear of Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers, or C.H.U.D.s, for short. They don't exist you say? Well, I'm sorry, I just don't believe you. The subway's a creepy place and enough weird things happen in it that they could totally exist and be waiting for their next meal when some innocent person (ME) least expects it.

I suppose this fear is doubly irrational because it would seem I am more concerned over a possibly fictitious humanoid character (also called Morlocks, Troglodytes, etc.) than I am of say, a mugger, or murderer, you know, something more classically New York, but just think about it! It's totally legit. They have it all planned out. No cell phone reception, very dark, smelly, dirty (notorious C.H.U.D. characteristics (since they used to be homeless (nothing against homeless people, cause, to be fair, they've got it pra-hitty ruff))); and to top it all off, the rats! What do you think C.H.U.D.s live off of when they can't get the human they so love? RATS! And other rodents able to avoid being electrocuted by the third rail.

That's another thing, I think the third rail was most likely invented to keep C.H.U.D.s at bay, but they can't be stopped. They can't be contained. They are coming. They are hungry and you, you, smell like pot roast. So..just think about that the next time you're stumbling back to Brooklyn at 2:45 in the morning. You might just end up a meal for an ex-homeless person that's now a mutant. And not the good kind either, like Professor Xavier. But, of course, I don't mean the bad kind like Magneto, I literally mean the bad kind of mutant that was once human and now eats humans for energy...C.H.U.D.s!